Empty Nest; Empty Marriage?

Raising children is time-consuming work. You are emotionally drained after dealing with teenagers. Intimacy has taken a back seat to real everyday isses. Then, kids go off to college or just off on their own. These transitional times are risky times in a marriage.

Years ago, after you raised your family, you had just a few good years of your life left. Didn't have to worry about the empty nest because people died young and the time between your kids leaving the nest and being six feet under were pretty close! Nowadays, that has all changed. A husband and wife can have more time alone after the kids leave than was spent raising them.

Couples need to take some initiative in revitalizing their marriage. Put "fun" back in your marriage. Have no common interests you say? Well, great time to take a class together. Learn something new together. Start a mutual hobby.

Let go of disappointments in your marriage. Maybe your life or marriage didn't turn out to be the panecea you were seeking. So what? If you haven't been such a great partner, ask for forgiveness. Take your partner as a package deal--the good points with the bad. Discuss common irritations and let go of others.

Talk about your future. Make plans. How's the level of friendship with your spouse? Long marital partners refer to other as friends. Kiss this friend for at least ten seconds every morning and evening and you will be surprised how long those ten seconds can seem if you haven't been kissing for that long.

I'd like to take credit for all these wonderful ideas, but I can't. David and Claudia Arp can. They've written a good book called "The Second Half of Marriage: Facing the Eight Challenges of Every Long-Term Marriage." I have also heard their cassette speaking about great dates for couples. Terrific ideas.