Marriage Survives and Thrives In Spite of Tragedy

Today's Oprah show really tugged at my heart. The story itself was amazing in many respects. Why? Simply put, marriage is hard pressed to withstand tragedies including the death of a child, or in fact, a serious illness of a spouse or child. Partners tend to grieve by themselves and don't share some important, intimate feelings. This alienation causes partners to divorce.

The family on Oprah today faced the ultimate tragedy. They lost three beautiful children under the age of 6 in a violent accident on a CA highway when a truck rammed into the rear of their mini-van. The mother was driving and her mother was sitting next to her in the passenger seat. The children were in the back seats. They were killed immediately.

I thought to myself....how can anyone go on after that loss? The parents were obviously still moved to tears three years later when they viewed the films of their children that Oprah flashed before the cameras. The husband told Oprah that they immediately sought professional counseling which had, in fact, saved their marriage. They held back nothing from each other including a pack they made with each other NOT to commit suicide and leave the other spouse with yet an additional loss.

The husband took six months off of work to be at home with his wife. Afterall, three littles ones fill a home with lots of sounds and now the place was one of unbearable silence. The couple worked hard at communicating all feelings--good and bad. They knew too, that they wanted more children because their hearts needed to be filled once again.

However, one of them had been sterilized so the only way to achieve pregnancy was through in vitro fertization. Three months after their intense loss, she was pregnant. And, with God working in miraculous ways, pregnant with triples--one boy and two girls (the same sexes of the children who died). The little ones are now 2 1/2 years old and incredibly beautiful.

No, they didn't replace the ones who passed away, but they do bring loads of love and laughter who this couple when they needed it the most. Had they not turned towards each other in this time of devastation, the marriage would have ended.

Thus, when you think you can't face another day of a problematic spouse, think about getting help and turn towards each other. Open communication like you've never experienced. Your marriage might survive and thrive as well.