Married Almost Half a Century and Holding

In January 2016, I will be married for 50 years. It is hard to imagine that at 69 years old, I will have spent more than 50% of my life with the same person. I went straight from my parent's home to my marital home without the chance to mature and live on my own. Don't get me wrong. I wanted to marry my husband. I thought we would be a great match and over the 50 years, we have needless to say, grown together and apart.

Would I suggest that people marry that young? Absolutely not. I would suggest that both bride and groom complete their education and be somewhat secure in a career that over time, would translate into financial stability. Learn all about marriage that you can before you marry. Read books, articles on the subject, and get advice from couples that have been married a long time. What worked for them?

For me, marriage was a commitment that I took very seriously as it should be. When things got tough for us, and believe me, they did. I hung in for various reasons at various times. Granted I had two children too soon in the marriage and I would also suggest NOT doing this. Marriage has enough stresses without adding children. Once you have a child, your marriage will never be the same--even if they leave you as an empty nester. If truth be told, parenthood can mean death to a marriage because it is so stressful. Sure, you are joyful after the birth, but the reality of the responsibility comes into fruition soon thereafter.

Celebrate your union of marriage with good communication skills. This is one of the biggest problems in a marriage and unfortunately a problem with males in particular. Women inherently talk too much and men listen too little. And, the latter may have had little skill in using words to communicate feelings. Women also have a tendency to expect men to "read" their minds. I did this for several years before I realized that the only thing silence brought me was pain and loneliness.

If I had to live my life over again, a very different scenario would exist. But as it is often said, you can't go back. I often ask myself if I was to have a do-over, would I marry the same man again. For the good reasons, I would and for the negatives in our marriage, I would have to say, no. What was important to me almost 50 years ago, is not what is that important today.

Nonetheless, almost 50 years ago I made a commitment and I am still committed today. How I will feel tomorrow, could be entirely different--sad as it may be.