Fortunately, we live in the age of computers and with that capability come innumerable resources. When I was newly married and a new parent, I had to run to the library for any information I needed to address problems and concerns. My arms would be burdened carrying books on top of books. Ditto when I was in college and grad school. Now, our fingertips can glide over the computer keys and with the help of Google (bless it), we can find all kinds of articles and information on just about any subject you can think of.
Granted we cannot and should not trust everything and anything we read on the internet, but we can from reliable sources, of which there are many. And, we can access this material in privacy, day or night. Furthermore, one can access not only educational resources, but professional ones as well. Therefore, it is not prudent or necessary to feel as though you have to face issues entirely on your own nor do you have to tell your relatives or friends everything that you are feeling. You can and should find professionals to help you in crisis and hopefully, long before.
Oftentimes, the remedies to problems are simple steps but one just needs the guidance and confidence to take those steps. If you are having marriage/relationship problems, there are so many courses and books available to help.
There are also many wonderful websites where you can access information. Below are some I have use frequently and have found them extremely beneficial. I hope you will check them out for yourself. The first one is not only a website full of information, but offers a wonderful yearly Conference that covers just about anything in marriage or relationships that you could ever want to know and it is for professionals and laypersons alike.
http://www.smartmarriages.com/index.html Marriage Education Diane Sollee, Director
http://www.divorcebusting.com Avoid divorce Michelle Weiner Davis
http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com Happy families Dr. Scott Haltzman
http://www.dearpeggy.com Infidelity Peggy Vaughn
http://www.drwaynedyer.com/daily-inspiration Inspiration Dr. Wayne Dyer
http://www.danielgoleman.info Emotional Intelligence Dr. Daniel Goleman
http://www.harvillehendrix.com Imago Therapy and more Dr. Harville Hendrix and wife, Helen Hunt
http://www.bullies2buddies.com Bullying Izzy Kalman
http://www.marriagealive.com/ Great Dates David and Claudia Arp
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sleeping Apart May be Good for your Marriage
Who would have thought that sleeping apart from your spouse might actually be good for your marriage? I can see that there is some doubt in your mind so let me explain a recent study out of Britain. Poor sleep increases your risk of depression, heart disease, stroke, respiratory failure and increases your risk of divorce and suicidal behavior. A large, Japanese study said that 7 ½ hours of sleep a night is optimal for good health.
Therefore, what do you do if sleeping with your spouse results in poor sleep for you? Two possibilities exist—get a larger bed such as a king size or super king size or sleep in separate room. If you are not bothered by any sleep issues with your partner, then don’t change a thing. However, if you share a small bed and your sleep is interrupted by your spouse’s movement in bed or by his/her exiting in the night for a bathroom break, then consider a larger bed or two separate mattresses put together. If your spouse keeps you awake at night with snoring, loud talking, etc., then perhaps it is time to move to another room.
Only about 8% of those in their 40s and 50s sleep in different rooms while more than 40% of those aged 70+ sleep apart. This could be because long established couples felt more secure about their relationships and bringing up the touchy subject of moving out of the marital bed is easier.
Sleeping apart doesn’t mean that there is no time for cuddling or sex. Both activities require one to be awake so they can be done “prior” to going to sleep—wherever that may be. Intimacy is important for emotional health, but good sleep is important for physical, emotional and mental health. You choose.
Therefore, what do you do if sleeping with your spouse results in poor sleep for you? Two possibilities exist—get a larger bed such as a king size or super king size or sleep in separate room. If you are not bothered by any sleep issues with your partner, then don’t change a thing. However, if you share a small bed and your sleep is interrupted by your spouse’s movement in bed or by his/her exiting in the night for a bathroom break, then consider a larger bed or two separate mattresses put together. If your spouse keeps you awake at night with snoring, loud talking, etc., then perhaps it is time to move to another room.
Only about 8% of those in their 40s and 50s sleep in different rooms while more than 40% of those aged 70+ sleep apart. This could be because long established couples felt more secure about their relationships and bringing up the touchy subject of moving out of the marital bed is easier.
Sleeping apart doesn’t mean that there is no time for cuddling or sex. Both activities require one to be awake so they can be done “prior” to going to sleep—wherever that may be. Intimacy is important for emotional health, but good sleep is important for physical, emotional and mental health. You choose.
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