Divorcing? Better Put It on Hold

Divorce rates are down to 40% these days. During 2008, the first year of the recession, 838,000 divorces were granted in 44 states. A year earlier, 856,000 divorces were finalized. It’s not a reduction due to any revelation on the part of married couples nor has marriage education been a factor (although I wish I could make the claim).

What has contributed in a strange way is the poor economy—particularly depressed housing values and disappearing jobs. Divorce has become a luxury beyond the reach of some miserable couples. There is often not enough money to pay for two households, to hire expensive lawyers and to fight over children in court. While waiting out the economic storms, many couples are living together as they separate. Lawyers who have been in the divorce business for many, many years say that they have never seem a time like this one.

History tells us that this recession bears similarities to the Great Depression because in the 1930s, divorce rates fell amid the worse of economic times only to rise as the country recovered. This recession has probably caused a backlog who can’t afford to divorce right now, but would sincerely like to. Sociologist, Andrew Cherlin, predicts a surge in divorce cases the first several recovery years in this century. “The longer this severe economic downturn continues, the larger the backlog will be.”

Living in a home as "separated" spouses can't be easy for anyone--particularly children. Rather than taking this passive-agressive role, perhaps couples should use this time to consider all the stressors facing them as a couple that may in some ways contribute to the demise of the marriage. Go for individual counseling. Get marital counseling. End extramarital relationships (if you have any). Remember the earlier and better times of your marital life. What brought you together?

While lawyers may be sitting around waiting for your business when the economy recovers, you as a couple/family need to get moving now.