I Gotta Be Me

I love old songs. Frankly, they don't write lyrics as they did years ago. Not only did the words rhyme (like in old poetry), but the lyrics made good sense. A song by Sammy Davis, Jr. recently popped into my head this weekend. I guess it was because my husband and I were speaking about couples who have been married many years and how they have adapted to each other over the years. The song is "I Gotta Be Me."

It begins, "Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong, Whether I find a place in this world or never belong, I've gotta be me, I've gotta be me, What else can I be but what I am." The ending words are dyamite too...."I can't be right for someone else, if I'm not right for me."

It's only after years of marriage that couples really get comfortable enough to be who they are....to let their true feelings be known. It's a really secure place to be who you are with no fears of reprisal or having to put on several faces to be happy. As as the lyrics state, if you can't be right for yourself, you can't be right for anyone else either.

I wish young couples would be who they really are before marriage. Even living together does not always allow mates to be free to be who they are. In this society, we learn to put on masks. Hide disappointments, sadness and mistakes. At some point, pretending just doesn't work. Everyone gets tired of acting and even if they don't, the other partner may be astute enough to read behind the lines and masks.

Another saying I learned years ago that has also served me well both as a member of the union of marriage and a member of life....."Do not wish to be anyone but who you are, but be that perfectly."