Don't Miss a Moment

Sometimes in marriage, as in life, some things just slip away. You hardly notice what you are missing. You become so involved in day to day living and the mundane, that you no longer recognize the small things in a relationship. We do, however, dwell on the big things, but it’s the smaller things (like the small part of a puzzle that make it whole). Hopefully, if you are in a new relationship, you are aware of all things—big and small—and appreciate all that makes up these things.

It is, nonetheless, when a relationship gets “older” that one dwells on the big picture, which can often be very good or very poor. Little things that a partner does to make you content or happy are oftentimes overlooked. Jobs, finances and certainly children are the large items that make up most of our waking hours—both physically and mentally. We begin to use negative terms such as “Joe never takes out the trash” or “Sue always burns the dinner.” It’s this all or nothing mentality that gets partners into real trouble. Black and white thinking has little place in a relationship and certainly not within a marriage. There are many shades of grey that should not be overlooked.

And, just as life changes……..so does a marriage. There are highs and lows, peaks and valleys. There is sadness and joy, immeasurable even in large doses. We get wrapped up in expectations that hold no realism. We expect our partner to understand and read our minds because to us the feelings are so obvious. I am been married a long time, so I know about what I write.

Think about your life and relationships as moments in time--moments to be treasured just because we are able to experience them. Not because we think we deserve them or someone owes them to us. Every relationship has something to offer us that enable us to grow, even if we deem it a negative one. Start looking at your partner as if you are seeing them as you did on your first date. What attracted you to him/her? What were the things that you exchanged that created your bond? What did you laugh at? What made you sad? Don’t miss another moment--even if things have changed. Appreciate each moment.